March of Dimes 15 million babies are born too soon every year. When I found out I was pregnant with triplets, I knew I would be having my boys too soon. When I toured the NICU at 20 weeks pregnant, I had to leave the tour halfway through - overwhelmed by what I knew I would be facing. It was like an episode of "scared straight." I read everything about avoiding prematurity - I was constantly drinking water and ate 200 grams of protein a day.
I had already had a baby - I had her at 41 weeks - she was born, came to the room with me, and came home when I went home. I knew that would not be the path for the boys.
I had closely seen how different having premature babies would be. My cousin Stephanie had her son Rory at 31 weeks - he was blue when he was born and barely 4 lbs. He was in the NICU for almost a month - it's not how she expected it to go. She worried for that first year every time she took him out of the house, he was so vulnerable. But you would never know that now. He towers over boys his age, sharp and funny - healthy. Strong.
So, I was hopeful. I thought (having seen Stephanie) that I knew what I was getting into. I was lucky that my boys were healthy enough when they were born that they didn't have to go to the "scary NICU" that made me cry on that tour. They were shy of 35 weeks and all around 5 lbs. We had lucky ones - ones that didn't need breathing, or feeding tubes.
All 3 in an isolette
What I wasn't prepared for:
- Checking out of the hospital on Mother's Day and leaving my boys behind
- Calling the NICU from home, so they would know I cared and maybe take better care of my boys (the GUILT - at leaving them there for hours without one of us....)
- Taking one home and leaving two beind
- Even worse - taking TWO home and leaving Harris behind.
- Not having the energy / strength to go back to the NICU and missing a day of his first month
- Crying in front of strangers in the NICU
- Hearing the alarms go off on your son's monitors -- first thought: 1) oh my God someone please come make sure he is ok 2) after being assured he is ok - realizing that alarm means he had a bradychardia episode which means his 7 day waiting period just started over and he won't be home for another week.
- Seeing babies in the NICU around you worse off, and having your heart ache for the parents you see come in, but never talk to.
I wasn't ready for any of that. And more.
But we got through - and our boys are happy, healthy and thriving - they fight with their big sister. They hug each other - and I look back and know it was all the knowledge and research of what would give them a healthy start that got us where we are now.
You are an amazing mom. I was completely unprepared for the NICU when my twins were born at 34 weeks. One day the nurses told me - right before the lunch "break" - that one might come home before the other. I completely lost it and was sobbing alone in the cafeteria! Now that my girls are healthy and huge grade-schoolers, I can laugh at that memory, but at the time it was so overwhelming. Thanks for sharing this story and the photos. Love seeing your beautiful boys and Amelia grow up!
Posted by: Dawn (KitchenTravels) | 11/18/2014 at 10:11 AM