So Shoe Me

What Amelia, Antonio, Harris & Lawrence are thankful for

Thankful

I'm so Thankful that I have three incredibly strong women models in my Grandmothers.  I had a beautiful Grandma Laura that I lost several years ago.  I'm lucky that my Grandma Didi is still with us - and I get to video chat with her.

A few weeks ago was the 4th Anniversary of my Grandma Quigg's passing.  My cousin Charlie sent an email to our group of about a dozen cousins and my aunts and uncles saying he was thinking of the old gal.  This started a back and forth amongst the multi-generational group with little funny and moving memories about Grandma.  

Now, Grandma Quigg came into my life when I was 2 1/2 and moved to the US.  She never once made me feel like anything other than her flesh and blood.  I have a big warm beautiful family in Brazil that I miss dearly, but she created this big warm group here in the US and I was so lucky to get brought into.

I loved all the exhange amongst my family I had to share it here.  

Remembering a great lady on the 4^th anniversary of Gramma’s passing.  I’ll sing into a flashlight in her honor. - Charlie Quigg

Perfect.  I will eat Wheat Thins and say something cheeky and then winkingly act like I have no idea why people are laughing. - Stephanie Monaghan

While making dinner tonight I will boil water longer so it stays hotter longer. - Jeffrey Quigg

I will print out this email after sending it and mail it to you. I want to make sure you get it. - Laura Fisher

When in doubt, bring pie.  - Jeffrey Quigg

Bring one pie, but buy a couple more for yourself.  - Jane Baker

Get a spiral cut ham for a party, spend the rest of the night guarding it so you have some to take home.- Matthew Quigg

If said ham falls while you are trying to eat it just call whatever dog is nearby to eat it "benji!!!!" - Daniela Almeida [We have Super8 video of this happening]

For Christmas buy everyone gifts from Lillian Vernon- also give them some change so everyone gets the same value "here's a pencil with your name on it and $1.35 because Stephanie's pencil was a little more expensive - Daniela Almeida

I loved her concern for treating everyone the same.  Except that year she gave Peter more than the rest of us and Daniela said she would represent the rest of the grandkids in a class-action lawsuit. - Stephanie Monaghan

I’m sure there was a really good reason for it.  So back to the spiral ham comment………..I remember her being concerned with how and why they put the bone inside the ham. - Peter Ewen

The bone-in ham Christmas was the first time Shaun met her.  He loved her immediately.  But she nearly slapped his hand when he went in for seconds on that thing. - Stephanie Monaghan

Speaking of equity, the neatest story I heard about Gramma was when she stood up for our neighbor who had a verbally abusive husband.  Long story short, Gramma stared the husband down and put him in his place, got the wife into her house and sent the husband home with his tail between his legs.  You didn’t mess with PMQ. - Charlie Quigg

I remember this.  I was very proud of mom over this one. - Kathy Quigg

One thing I have to say is she was very generous not only with her family but with the community as well. She didn't do it for the recognition, she did it because it was the right thing to do. I think she had at one point a book fund at Grays Harbor College for students to get their books paid for.  I even think she did it in her sister's name. - Jeffrey Quigg

There are actually two book funds in Jerry Orkney's name.  One at Grays Harbor College and another at Peninsula College.  They are no interest loans.  (Jerry wanted it that way to help "responsible students that were trying to stay in school.") - Tom Quigg

I think it’ very interesting that all four of her kids and all 10 of her grandkids share a trait she had in bucket-fulls:  we are all “connectors”.  We all value, make, and maintain connections to others easily and we are all ready to accept a new person without conditions, while still having boundaries.  The more I have worked with kids and their families, I have come to realize that what is natural for us is not for too many people. - Stephanie Monaghan

 

Any grandchild during the holidays: Grandma, do you want a glass of wine or a cup of coffee?? Grandma: I'll take a Busch Light! - Steve Quigg

I was reading all of these back an forth emails to my co-worker and we were cry-laughing and another co-worker came into my office and said "Oh shoot, I was coming in here to tell you something, but I forgot what it was. Must have been a lie."  GRANDMA SAID THAT ALL THE TIME.  So creepy - she is totally hearing us!  And she approves.

This Thanksgiving - my cousins, aunts and uncles aren't all together like we used to be.  I do get one brother and his family to be with.  But am still Thankfully connected to this wonderful group.  

My brother had this read at her memorial.  I kept it and am reprinting it here for all to enjoy:

I have 2 grandmothers, both lived thousands of miles apart, different backgrounds, different languages, different circumstances.  One thing is true about grandmothers though.  Whenever I would visit with them, they both would hold my hand and hang on to every word I had to say.

When she had her hearing I would call grandma on a regular basis and talk with her.  The past few years she started most conversations with how amazing it was that Matt ran into Gail and Bett Quigg in the middle of NYC.  When she had something she found interesting she always felt compelled to share it.  Whether it was something you wanted to hear or something you need to hear or something she felt needed repeating. That is is one thing I have tried to not only do, but have the tact in which to do it. May make life a little easier being honest not only with myself but with others.

She had interesting theories on life and some science.  For example if you boiled water it stayed hotter longer. I work with some PhD's and I asked one of them if that was possible.  They explained that the universe is so complex that anything is possible.  Given our current surroundings that not yet have they figured out the formula for boiling water to keep it hotter longer.  She is probably ahead of her time.

She was also a fiery woman.  Had a lot of passion for life, I have seen her laugh until she had an accident.  I have also seen her so upset her eyes lit up like fire.  I remember when my dad told grandma she had to quit smoking.  I was pretty sure my dad's life was about to be cut short.  I also remember my mom having to hold her back when she got mad at her sister for wanting to move back to Sequim.

Of all the things I have learned from her throughout my years some things are certain.  Honesty is the best policy, laugh early and often and it is amazing that Gail and Bett Quigg ran into Matt in the middle of NYC.

She was a lot to all of us.  A mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, mother in law, sister in law, aunt, neighbor and friend.  I will miss my friend so very much.  Good bye Grandma Pat, may you rest in peace.

Jeff

 

I didn't get to be at her memorial, but I did get to see her the week before she passed.  She was pretty exhausted by this point and hadn't spoken if several days.  When we walked in the room, her eyes lit up and she said "Amelia" when she saw the two of us walk in the room.  She LOVED her grandkids so much.  Amelia's name was the only thing she said while we were there that day.  She just stared and smiled so much at her.  

I hope this share makes you all smile a little too.  

World Premie Day

March of Dimes 15 million babies are born too soon every year.  When I found out I was pregnant with triplets, I knew I would be having my boys too soon.  When I toured the NICU at 20 weeks pregnant, I had to leave the tour halfway through - overwhelmed by what I knew I would be facing.   It was like an episode of "scared straight."  I read everything about avoiding prematurity - I was constantly drinking water and ate 200 grams of protein a day.  

I had already had a baby - I had her at 41 weeks - she was born, came to the room with me, and came home when I went home.  I knew that would not be the path for the boys.  

I had closely seen how different having premature babies would be.  My cousin Stephanie had her son Rory at 31 weeks - he was blue when he was born and barely 4 lbs.  He was in the NICU for almost a month - it's not how she expected it to go.   She worried for that first year every time she took him out of the house, he was so vulnerable.  But you would never know that now.  He towers over boys his age, sharp and funny - healthy.  Strong.  

So, I was hopeful.  I thought (having seen Stephanie) that I knew what I was getting into.  I was lucky that my boys were healthy enough when they were born that they didn't have to go to the "scary NICU" that made me cry on that tour.  They were shy of 35 weeks and all around 5 lbs.  We had lucky ones - ones that didn't need breathing, or feeding tubes.  

All 3 in an isolette

What I wasn't prepared for:

- Checking out of the hospital on Mother's Day and leaving my boys behind

- Calling the NICU from home, so they would know I cared and maybe take better care of my boys (the GUILT - at leaving them there for hours without one of us....)

- Taking one home and leaving two beind

- Even worse - taking TWO home and leaving Harris behind.  

- Not having the energy / strength to go back to the NICU and missing a day of his first month

- Crying in front of strangers in the NICU

- Hearing the alarms go off on your son's monitors -- first thought: 1) oh my God someone please come make sure he is ok 2) after being assured he is ok - realizing that alarm means he had a bradychardia episode which means his 7 day waiting period just started over and he won't be home for another week.

- Seeing babies in the NICU around you worse off, and having your heart ache for the parents you see come in, but never talk to.

I wasn't ready for any of that.  And more.  

But we got through - and our boys are happy, healthy and thriving - they fight with their big sister.  They hug each other - and I look back and know it was all the knowledge and research of what would give them a healthy start that got us where we are now.

Halloween and 2 1/2 years old!

It's been a very busy few weeks with Halloween that I missed the boys actually turning 2 1/2 on the 8th.  

HALLOWEEN

My little minions didn't go trick or treating this year because it was raining too hard, but they had a costume, and we had great neighbors that let us trick or treat at their house the next day when the weather was better.  

 

 Amelia also spent quite a bit of time focusing on the holiday - she was not dampened by the rain and wore different costumes depending on the day.   For our halloween party she was an "evil underwater princess":

For trick or treating downtown she initially created a DIY costume that Ursula the sea witch, but then halfway through trick or treating she decided her costume looked more like Madonna, so began to tell people that is what she was.

Still Ursula the sea witch:

Aaaaaaand now we're Madonna:

And then for Trick or Treating she was a C3PO

 

Amelia LOOOOOVES  a DIY costume, makeup tutorial etc.  Just to get a flavor, here's my current YouTube home page now:

 

ANTONIO

 

Antonio - you have become SO verbal in the past months.  You are full on sentences now.  You also have stopped calling animals by their sound name "moo", "baa" and are saying cow and sheep - the other day you saw a BIG. ORANGE. TRUCK. and you actually called them a truck and not a vroom and you were so happy and proud.  You sing alllll day long.  You don't always know the words, but that doesn't stop you from singing non stop.  

 

HARRIS

Harris, you love to play with your brothers.  You are always coming up with ideas and want your brothers to play with you - you walk into the room and say in a happy sing-song voice copying me "I have a new GAME!"  "Who wants to play with Hawwis?"  When your brother agrees to play with you you say "Oh Harris so happy now."  It's adorable.   You creatad a complex jumping game you wanted everyone to play with you the other day:

 

 

baby's first shiner:

 

LAWRENCE

 Lawrence, you want to be wherever I am.  If it's making dinner, going to the garage, changing my clothes, changing your brother's diaper.  You see me make a move and yuo immediately say "Lawrence go too!"  "I go too!"  You like to "sit in mama yap" for book reading and you really don't want your brothers to be in your space on that occasion.  You shocked me the other day at the park by singing an entire song - all the words - you are so verbal!  You love to play the piano, turning the pages just like yaya.   

 

Singing Twinkle Twinkle Traffic light:

 

The other day there was a beautiful sunset and we walked to the end of our street to see the sunset, look at the tadpoles in the lake at the end of the street, pick up acorns and blow wishes.  It was a good day.

And then now the days get dark early so we have to find more indoor fun coloring with sister, and having a little piano time.

 

They started out each with their own coloring books - but then it was so sweet they seemed to miss interacting with one another, and Lawrence asked Harris to come and color with him too.  Their little voices are too cute "Lawwence?  You come color with Hawwwis?"  Even though they all had their own books and crayons, they decided to color together and share their crayons.  The sweetest.  

 

 

This piano playing session was very serious:

 

What it's like at the park with the boys:

 

 

Playing in grandma's classroom

Fall days

The boys got to explore the neighborhood with the nanny today and she sent these sweet photos. The boys love to pick up every stick and rock and acorn and pinecone.

They got to make a fall art project too!