Lies, lies, lies, yeah...

So, I've taken to lying.  You know, to strangers.  Who ask questions.  Because answering their questions ends up getting into some pretty personal, none of their business, awkward conversation-having.  Yes, I see the irony of having this discussion on a public blog, but it is just different than when I'm at a Target, and some random person overhears me say triplets and they come up and say "Oh my gosh are they natural??" 

I mean, I understand the question.  I think most people are hoping it wasn't natural, because if it was, then perhaps their own odds of being struck with triplets increases?  But, really - what does it matter how I ended up with triplets? 

Here's how the conversation typically goes if I let it progress with no lies:

Random Stranger:  Wow - you must be almost ready!  When's your due date?

Me: June 15th.

RS: (horrified and confused look), um, oh!  really?

Me: I know.  I'm huge.  It's triplets.

RS:  TRIPLETS?!!  (insert various response here) You poor thing! / How exciting! / Wow! / Were you surprised!? ....

Then the question invariably is one of two variarions: 1) Do multiples run in your family?  (To which I have started answering... "Now they do"  or 2) ARE THEY NATURAL?  DID YOU DO FERTILITY??

I mean - hello, random stranger... I really don't want to discuss question number 2 with you.  Because, typically, if I give them the real answer?  Immediately, I get the nodding of the head and the unspoken judgment of "well, she asked for this."  So, I've taken to lying to shut the conversation down.  Depending on how nosey vs. nice the person is / my responses to these last two questions have been lately : Yes, multiples run in my family.  Yep they are natural.  No, no fertilty, I'm just old.   The other day, while getting my toes done with my daughter some guy who I did not know asked me if it was fertility treatments... I pretended not to hear him.  He asked again... I pretended not to hear.  He came right over to where Amelia and I were and asked a third time.  I finally said, "I'm kind of having a day here with my daughter... so, I'm not really up to chatting with you about this."

Sometimes, if I'm particularly NOT IN THE MOOD for a discussion with a stranger about my stomach, I just don't even open the door to the discussion:

RS: Wow - you must be almost ready!  When's your due date?

Me:  Next week.  (Fin)

_______

Here's the thing.  I've gotten over the shock.  I've mostly gotten over the panic.  I'm in the point of my pregnancy, where I am absolutely over the moon happy about having these three little boys.  So, part of me wants to tell everyone I run into because, it's pretty freaking amazing.  I just wish that was the response I got, and I might be more willing just to be straightforward. 

And to the lady in the shoe department at Macy's who upon hearing my news said "Oh I am so jealous, I want a little boy and you get three!" ... Thank you.

 

Comments

[Matthew Quigg]

As your brother, I can say that your lying is not a new thing.

[Catie]

If you really, really want to mess with someone you can look puzzled and hurt when they ask about your pregnancy and then say very quietly, "I'm not pregnant." Seriously, the "are they NATURAL" question is killing me. What do they imagine is in there? A bunch of plastic dolls? I hate everyone.

[Rhi]

Granted, I only had one baby, but the things people would say..., "Oh. You're due in November? Well, maybe the baby will be early." Um. Thanks?

[Ingrid]

Matt is always funny.

And, "YEAH!!!" I'm so happy for you and so happy you are over the moon ... and love Macy's lady!!

[Elizabeth]

I love your brother's comment.

I always liked Miss Manners suggestion for when people ask if a pregnancy was planned (and it would work here too):
"I don't know!"
That really confuses the heck out of them.

[Allison]

I lied and I was only having one. People think they know how you should look...and they don't. So very happy for you. So very excited for you! Just think of all the fun things!

[Julie]

I still think your response to the when are you due question should be "four weeks ago." You'll get all kinds of sympathy.